Thursday, August 18, 2011

our wedding.

The one thing I’ve noticed so far in the wedding planning (of my own wedding) is that everyone seems to have an opinion. Your relatives, your fiancés’ relatives, your friends, co-workers and people you hardly know! I sometimes feel like I’m suffocating with all the “this would be…” or ‘the look’. You know where their head goes back a little and tips sideways just slightly after you’ve told them your idea. The facial expression basically looks like they just saw a centaur (half house, half man)………..Yeah. That look. It’s discouraging. Although, is it my fault their not able to see our vision?

I honestly just can’t bring myself to apologize for not sticking to two colors and for not making the day mostly about me. I can’t apologize for throwing tradition to the wind. I am making it us! US. US. US. US. US. US. US. US. US. I am gonna pound that into people’s heads. It’s so frustrating! Why are things in this world they way they are? It makes NO sense. Some things we do as a human race, not just weddings, is just so robotic. We don’t stop and think why? Why are things this way? Why? Everyone just does it cause it’s “normal”. If it’s not normal people freak out and run the opposite direction arms flailing.

No, I’m not getting married in a church nor do I want to. I’m not connected to a church. I’m connected to God. I do not have to be in a man-made building to show my love and appreciation for my Lord and savior. Why not celebrate our union outdoors where we reside on the land that was crafted by God and to a person I call home?

And no, I am not going to list every person from every part of our family trees that passed away in our “remembrance” ceremony or whatever we do. I can’t include grandparents or aunts or uncles or cousins or anyone that died before we even were born. There’s no emotional attachment there. See what I’m saying? I was told there would be “hurt” feelings if we singled out a couple people that had passed. UM, how? Those are the people that we were close to and that we miss dearly. Why do I need to have a table set up with a picture of my mom’s dad or my dad’s dad whom I never even knew past the age of 6 months!? It’s absurd and I don’t want to hear that there would be hurt feelings because my parents in no way would even expect me to do that. DUH!

I hate to sound so whiney and negative it’s just that it’s a constant echo whisper in my brain. I have to stick to my guns on what we want and envision. I have to. I can’t let outside influences influence me. And although there is an echoed whisper of what they have to say about our big day I have to ignore it. BUT BUT BUT – how do I go about not being rude when they tell me their idea? How do I not let them read MY facial expression of “hell no…….” haha! It’s true! I’m a wear your heart on your sleeve kinda person. You can read my every emotion in the way that I move my lips or where my eyes shift when you say something I don’t like. It’s a curse I swear.

Granted, there are some ideas from people I adore. So don’t stop giving me your input! But when it comes to my beliefs, my loved ones who have passed or having a “woodland fairytale” wedding please don’t roll your eyes. You can't judge what you haven't seen. My main concern is marrying Matt. His smile will be more memorable than any sort of paper stationary, decor, dress or caterer.....


  1. I think there comes a point where you have to let people know that you appreciate their thoughts and emotions--but that the day is truly yours and your fiances. That you want everything to feel heartfelt, to express who you two are. When faced with tasteful, yet unneeded advice, I go with a simple, "Thanks so much for thinking about our big day and for your suggestions, I'll think them over."

    When faced with a more tactless suggestion, I've simply, yet firmly, said this, "It's our big day and we're really trying to stick to what feels genuine and authentic for us...and this is it."

    It can be so hard, sidestepping all the little awkward situations...but remember: it's about you two. Anyone who chooses to take issue with your decor and meaningful inclusions, like remembrance touches, has chosen to make the day about them, and there's not much you can do about that other than hope your tastefully firm words will remind them that the day is yours. :)

    Best of luck!

  2. I was in such a bad mood yesterday I had to vent. The truth is I love ideas and inputs from others but I HATE when they act as though MY ideas were dumb and theirs are the only way to go. I really have a hard time with people telling me what to do and acting superior. I am going to have every detail thought out to the very T. People just need to sit back and let me do my thing......ugh! PMS i think.

  3. Your wedding and your ideas are yours and Matt's. That is what counts. Good that you are still taking input, but that is all it is, input. I totally get it, we are pretty "non traditional" folks too and that is what makes life interesting! I have told Chuck a million times, one of the things I love about him is he is "not normal and boring"..

    Keep on blogging, love to hear whats ticking along in the brain of yours!!!