Thursday, September 22, 2011

My Wedding Dress

Traditions are like fingerprints. Though, instead of being solely for individuals they’re unique per family. Every family has their own customs and quirky little things that make “them.” Traditions sometimes make your whole entire year and make the best memories for sure!

At my mom’s we spent every week night eating supper together, which is actually quite unusual for the modern family I think. We’d spend time at the table chowing down on mom’s home cooked food and discussing how hard basketball practice was that night and when the next 4H meeting was. Mom and dad would go on about how great my little brother’s grades were (puke J) and the current happenings at their jobs.  Sundays (every single Sunday) were always picnic nights. Football, nachos, pizza and wings! Nachos are a delicacy in our 4-person Seefeldt family.

Black Friday is the biggest holiday for my mom and I. Nothing like hitting the road at 2 am and buying out Watertown and Sioux Falls all before the sun comes up! My grammy used to come along too before she passed (bless her heart!). My step-dad, after a few years, got fed up because for like 3 years in a row he would have to come to Watertown with a bigger vehicle because we’d be unable to move or breathe due to the copious amount of “crap” we had bought. We needed to get to Sioux Falls stat and we couldn’t do it in those ‘stuffed’ conditions!! Next year we may need to borrow/rent an 18 wheeler.

At my real dad’s house it was hard for us to be consistent with having 4 kids and my sisters needing to go to their dad’s for the holidays and then me coming and it was just a mad house trying to coordinate events. However, I spent every summer at my dad’s (which I miss doing) and every Fourth of July we’d pack up our van full of blankets, pillows and bug spray and head here or there to watch fireworks as a family. We also drove around town near Christmas time to see all the lights! Those were seriously some of the best times of my life. Having 2 sisters practically the same age and a silly daddio is the best!!

When we got older it was harder to keep us entertained (although, I’d still love to do those things!) so we had to find new ways to keep tradition in our family going. My sisters and I are all within 3 years of each other so we were all out of high school and broke as a joke at the same time. Our tradition every year was to draw names for siblings and pray Joel drew our name so my step-mom (their real ma) would buy our gift and it would be fancy! J

Well, after that we decided since all us adolescent girls could scrounge up around the holiday season was the lint between our toes we would instead spend the evening together baking, gaming and writing. Let me tell you, those have been some of the most memorable Christmases! We have this game that asks questions like, “If you were all captured by wild savages and were forced to have one person dance to save your heads from being boiled whose dance moves do you trust to save your life?” (why my family chose me I have zero clue) or “who’s most likely to get ‘lucky’ tonight?” – We were in tears at who picked who. Keep in mind this game is involving my 10 year old brother, parents, my sister’s, my fiancé and my sister’s new boyfriend….Let alone with 3 born and bred Carpenter’s (dad, joel, me) in the house it’s always loud and crazy. My abs hurt the next morning from laughing that night. Wow, I am cheesing out so bad right now.

And the food. Ohhhh the food! My dad makes his mouth-watering king crab legs and shrimp (I have a butter stained t-shirt for proof they’re messy and equally delish). We bake each other’s favorite foods and so there are usually stuffed mushrooms, cheesecake, veggie pizza and all this other scrumptious stuff! We also write each other poems and read them in front of everyone. I always like to throw in my poem how my dad wore head to toe red to church the following Sunday after my step-mom told him her favorite color was red (this was when they first started seeing each other). For those that know me, am I not my father’s daughter?! Hahaha! Gosh.

So I guess where I’m headed with this tradition thing:

A couple weeks ago my mom and I were chatting on our way to visit my Great Grandma Rose and my Grandpa Rod. Out of nowhere she says, “You’re the only bride I know who isn’t talking their mom’s ear off about their wedding dress.” I paused for awhile and didn’t really respond besides a shrug. Ever since then though, I’ve been looking and thinking and thinking and more thinking. I’ve had probably 6 people in the last week ask when I was going to start dress shopping.

I’m sentimental in about 99% of all aspects of my life. I cherish the little things and love looking at old photos of when I was little or when my parent’s were young. I have been reminiscing a lot about the weddings I’ve been too and asking my grandparent’s about theirs, etc. And you know me, I like different and I like meaningful. I’ve thought long and hard about it and so here I am, letting my Sparkler’s, friends and family know I am wearing my Mother’s wedding dress on my wedding day.

To answer a few questions, it’s the dress from my mom’s 2nd marriage. If it was the one from her first marriage wouldn’t that be a bad omen or something? Hehe. Plus, the one she married my real dad in was a pink 80’s huge-bow-tie-on-your-bum kind of dress. Yikes!  And although, that dress was scary I am very appreciative my parents married and had me (and I bet you are too!).

I am also grateful that my parents are divorced and remarried to their soul’s mates. I love my wicked stepmother (yes, I call her that to her face-jokingly of course) and Odd Seefeldt (sometimes the T gets cut off on his mail and my bro and I find it funny) to death!! I couldn’t have asked for fate to send me more loving and accepting parents who would raise me as their own.

I obviously, was at both my parents’ 2nd weddings. I was the flower girl (raise the roof. ow ow!) and I remember how special that day was for both sets of parents. I could feel the love between them and I was smitten. I had a fairytale sixth sense even way back then. I remember thinking my mother was the most beautiful princess lady in the history of the universe. I wanted to look like her when I grew up. (Matt thinks we’re twins – I don’t see it)

It seems the tradition of wearing your mother’s dress has kind of flopped. It’s very unheard of, or to me it is anyways but I don’t get out much either. I think it’s a special thing if your mother’s dress has been well kept and fits. My mom’s is in near perfect condition and we (or will be once I get back to my “normal” size) are the same size and height also!

For those of you wondering, the dress is from the early 90s. Yes, it has puffy sleeves at the top of the shoulders. So before YOU start hyperventilating I will let you know… no, I am not keeping the sleeves. Calm down. After all, it’s not your wedding dress right? And no, I haven’t lost my bloody mind. The dress is stunning. I love the full satin skirt of the dress and the long cathedral lace-y beaded train. I am in love with lace sleeves and I think an off the shoulder long lace-sleeve is just what this dress needs to update and “brandi” brand the dress. J

My mom is pretty excited and so am I! I am excited to wear the dress she wore that day in October when I was in awe of what a beauty she was. I’m excited to wear a dress that started a tight-knit blended family and begin my fairytale with Matthew like my mother did with my step-dad. (It’s so weird referring to my step-parents as step-mom and step-dad. In real life it’s mom, mom, dad, dad and friends are left to figure out who the hell I’m chatting about! hehe). I’m excited to start a tradition perhaps my future curtain climbers/bed wetters will continue. But most of all, I’m excited to marry Matthew and start/continue our family traditions with him...

(Me and Ma shortly before it wasn't just "the girls" anymore. I don't have an explanation for the hair. The bigger the hair the closer you are to Heaven??)


  1. OMG! I love this, I know Kim does as well, cannot wait to see it...

  2. This rocks! I am pumped about it.. Loved reading this, Brandi! Made my day.. NO wonder you are so cool!!

  3. I think you are a wonderful writer, I actually enjoy reading your website. You're a very beautiful and talented person, don't ever let what anyone has to think affect you.. THEY ALL STUPID ANY HOW

  4. This is my favorite post of yours to date!!! I love it and I love you!!!!
    Your Wicked Stepmother