Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Wedding Stress, etc.

Sadly I have to admit, these hilarious e-cards are seriously exactly how I feel. I am so stressed out I feel at any moment I could start hyperventilating, rip out all my hair and start flailing on the floor like a fish gasping for air. Not only wedding stress but future job stress, major/school stress, weight stress, being a grown-up stress, beauty stress, money stress, etc...

Those of you who have planned/are planning a wedding know exactly the stress I’m talking about. Basically, you want the day to be perfect and want others to think it’s perfect too. Well, contrary to popular belief, perfection doesn’t exist and trying to achieve it makes a person insanely nuts (bird lady nuts – think crazy cat lady only with birds). I know that it’s our day and we have to do things the way we want and not worry about what others think/say but it’s easier said than done!!!

As much as I would love to say everyone is going to love our wedding – they won’t. They’ll think the deer antler arch and men’s camo vests are tacky and the fur cape is too much. They’ll think my mother’s wedding dress is outdated and the day was too cold. They’ll think our nacho/baked potato bar was “cheap” and didn’t go with our theme. They’ll think matt’s shyness and refusal to speak at the reception means he doesn’t care or isn’t appreciative. They’ll think my “soul sisters” idea was confusing and weird and everything was “too vintage”.  They’ll think it’s weird we don’t want speeches from our bridal party and that we didn’t have biblical readings at the ceremony.

See how I’m my own worst critic here?? It gets worse. I stress about the tiniest detail…from what perfume I should wear to my jewelry. If you would talk to me about it you would think it was life or death. It’s becoming crazy pathetic the things I’m concerned about. HELP ME!!!!

What am I going to do about school? Seriously.. I’ve been in college for almost 4.5 years without even so much as an associate’s degree. I changed my major 5 times and still am unsure of what I’d be good at and be HAPPY doing everyday of my life. I honestly am so lost as to what to do. Lets hug it out. (hugs) wow, I feel better…J

And how do I know what my future job options are without a major in mind? Am I gonna be stuck at this $10/hr. job feeling as though I’m not contributing to society at all? I feel like every person leaves their mark on the world and I am not even close.  I don’t know what I’d like or what I’d be good at so until I figure that out I’m kind of stuck with business (although, I really can do a lot with this major. That’s the level headed Brandi coming through..)

I feel as though everyone I know thinks I’m a giant loser for living a mile from my parents in Garden City, SD. I have gained a ton of weight and am marrying a guy I couldn’t stand in high school. I do believe in love and have a love that will lasts and that makes me “uncool” because a majority of kids my age are out partying and doing whomever whenever. And I couldn’t possibly know what true love is at such a young age and am bound for divorce because no marriage lasts nowadays.

I’m trying my best to stay positive (you guys are like yeah right!) and be grateful for all that I’ve been given. It’s a rough road some days and I often get discouraged by the tiniest thing. I’m trying to remember it will all work out how it’s supposed to and that our wedding day is OUR day and most people won’t even remember all the trouble I went through to make sure every last detail was in tact.

I have noticed that exercising is a great way to relieve some of my daily stressors. I’ve been caught crying on the treadmill because it felt so good to be finally doing something about my self image and I was watching the sunrise thinking about Thomas…

Crazy honesty but I just needed to get all the stress-age off my chest.

Do you guys have any stress relievers that you found have worked for you (besides drinking heavily)….

1 comment:

  1. Brandi I love reading your blog! You are an amazing women with amazing ideas. I dont think any of your plans for YOUR and Matt's big day are weird or outdated or anything of the sort. They are original and that special day will be perfect because it is exactly what YOU two want and that is what is important. Your arch idea is great..and food sounds delicious. Dont worry about what others think..its your day to enjoy! :o)