Sunday, November 2, 2014

Life Lately

           I thought I would start up my blog again - a few times a month at least! Writing has always been such a relaxing thing for me. My mind is always 100 mph that when I sit down and get it all down I feel so liberated.
            I started this blog about 3 years ago after my friend Thomas died - it was my outlet when Matt & I were grieving. I have to cover my eyes looking at some of my old posts. I was in a different place in my life & it's like when you hear your voice on a recorder and you think, "How in the heck do I have friends?!"
            After a death-breakup-tragic life event, sometimes you feel like you'll forever be in that Eeyore stage of life. You feel peeved that the sun could even shine that bright or how dare those damn birds chirp so cheerfully when you feel like getting out of bed is the biggest obstacle you'd ever face.  I've been there - we eventually learn we can get out of bed - we learn we can smile - we learn we can be genuinely happy. Our loved one would want it anyways. It took a lot of dark nights for Matt & I but I can say we have finally reached a point where we can smile and we know it's legitimate.
            I'm taking a Christianity class (we have to take it to graduate) and we visited the monastery in Watertown. We were invited for prayer, supper, and then to discuss a time of suffering in our lives. Our class sat in a circle and one of the nuns started off by telling us about her upbringing and how her mother passed away when she was only 11. I lost it. I felt those same feelings of anger, sadness, grief, etc. she talked about after Thomas and my grandma were gone. My classmates went around and when it got to me it took everything I had to share my story. It was a revelation for me. I honestly felt so much healing in sharing my FULL story to 23 other people.
            I felt I had to be strong for Matt for a lot of years. I think a lot of people overlooked that fact. I never got to grieve in the way I needed to. The next day after sharing my story, I quit my job. I decided I was tired of being treated a certain way & I was ready for a change. I will leave the story at that besides the fact that life is too short to go home miserable every day.
            I didn't really have much of a plan. Little did I know how much Mary Kay would change my life. The women I've met have been the most incredible people. They really are the type that think that I can do anything! They motivate me to want to do and be my best. I get to have fun and help people! I actually believe in this company, their products, and love nothing more than helping my customers! I could cry I am so happy. I wake up and get to see all the smiles my kids go through in a day. Archer is getting smarter and funnier everyday - I get to witness it!
            I am quite the skeptic, the pessimist, whatever you'd like to call it! I come from 2 sets of parents. One set wants me to follow my heart and do what makes me happy. The other set takes more convincing. They want me to work at a job thats M-F and has great health benefits with a 401K plan that is matched! (I am sure they want me to be happy too! haha!) I think this is why God knew I needed both sets of 'rents - I need balance in my life! I turned down a job of $17/hr. to pursue a career I knew WILL pay me more and will feed my soul with the nourishment it needs to lead a happy life. (cheezy but true)
            I used to think, "not all of us can work from home. we HAVE TO get up and work 8-5 at a traditional job. that's LIFE!" but no, it's really not. I have friends who love their traditional jobs! I am happy for them! It's a rarity. Whatever path you choose in life - make it a happy one.
            If you're not happy, remember that YOU are the only person who can change YOUR situation. We are the only people who put ourselves in this box of, "I can't" or "I can" - I come across so many women who would be great at doing what I do BUT they can't see their own potential! They make excuses about how they're too busy, they aren't sales people, they don't wear makeup, etc.
            But I see it in them. Busy people know how to get sh*t done - right?! They prioritize better than anyone. They use time wisely. As for not being a sales person - do you think that's what I am?! I run and hide at those mall kiosks or car places. I simply just talk to women about stuff I believe in & we have fun! Done. Not pushy in the slightest. Don't wear makeup? That's ok! I know a lot of women grew up with mothers who didn't teach them (mine didn't! they stressed skincare but not makeup!) If you're teachable, I can help you out GF. I am so happy - I want that for you too.
         I had this saying in my old office, "Happy girls are the prettiest." It's now sitting on my kitchen table (cause it's my office right now) and I truly believe that phrase! GET HAPPY GIRL!
            Anyways, I hope you enjoyed reading - I will doing personal/makeup/wedding updates. I hope you have a happy Monday & don't hesitate to reach out if you're grieving, want to know more, or simply just benefited from reading. I LOVE all ya'll!
(Items used in this look: MK Miracle set dry/normal, MK CC cream light/medium, MK mineral foundation beige .5, MK blush in copper glow, MK eyeshadows in spun silk, chocolate kiss, hazelnut, MK ultimate mascara, MK true dimensions lipstick in Sheer Blush, MK nourishine lipgloss in icicle -----> )

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