THINGS I'M AFRAID TO TELL YOU

I’ve decided tojoin on the blogger challenge bandwagon “things I’m afraid to tell you” made widely popular on the blogosphere by Creature Comforts (go read her post…it hits the nail on the head!)


Andddd for those of you too lazy to read all that (tisk! tisk!) she basically paints a beautiful picture about how we all [on social networking sites] seem to play up our life more beautiful than it really is. I agree with her about portraying a groomed portrayal of our lives. I mean, I never share the dirty or ordinary parts of my life. I look happy (&am for the most part) and hilarious (Just go with it…) plus scrubbing toilets over wedding deets isn’t as fun to blog about.

Here are some things I have been deathly afraid to tell you. And I will probably be pushing publish with my eyes closed and then will run outside and play for a couple hours because I’m afraid to see your comments and/or picture your silent judgements. 

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You know only my closest friends really know this stuff….
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Here goes nothing!
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I compare myself to others way too much. I feel like I don’t bring anything positive to the table – in any aspect of my life. I feel as though everyone around me is prettier, smarter, cooler, funnier, richer, etc. etc. (except for some...some people are just plain dumb and ug) It’s exhausting and I often wonder why in the world Matt would want to spend the rest of his life with me or the fact he likes to see me naked…but that’s a whole other blog post.

Anyways, if I didn’t care what people thought so much, I would positively say I was perfectly happy living in my 100 year old house with the love of my life, driving a 2008 car, 1.4 miles from my Mama. So why do I give a flying rip if I’M happy? I feel like others are judging me because I stayed in my hometown. It reminds me of one of my favorite Miranda Lambert songs though….

If I ever left this town
I’d never settle down
I’d just be wandering around
If I ever left this town

If I wasn’t by your side
I’d never be satisfied
Nothin’ would feel just right
If I wasn’t by your side

I just wrote the most depressing paragraph you’ve probably ever read up there but these lyrics are so true. When I wasn’t dating Matt and I wasn’t living here where my roots are I felt completely lost. So I guess I should stop caring.
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Not graduating college yet really wears on me. I mean really really wears on me. I lay awake at night beating myself up over it. I feel like I’ve let my parents down, not that they’ve ever implied that but I’m my own worst critic. I’m pretty sure I have officially decided to go back for Psychology though –VanWilder status here. (accounting is my current major = pound head on table multiple times)
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One of my biggest regrets that I never and I mean never talk about dates back to February of 2011. A few of my classmates and I had planned a Deadwood trip and I decided to sell some concert tickets I had because I needed the extra $100 for Deadwood. So I skipped out on the Blake Shelton concert I had so eagerly bought tickets for. I have alot of regret when it comes to selling those concert tickets. It was planned that I was to meet Thomas there. The last time we spoke was a phone call from him asking if I was still coming down the following night for the concert. Not that I feel like I could have stopped fate but I often think about how I could have at least seen that smile one last time. I think I mentioned this to someone once and they said I couldn’t beat myself up over it and they are definitely right but I always wonder “what if I would have been there…” and “why didn’t God want me there…” & another thing I’m afraid to admit is the fact that I still cry about Thomas' passing. A lot. Oddly, mostly on the sunniest of days and the days I can feel Matt missing him like crazy.
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As much as I can’t wait for little baby Lenzen to arrive I am scared out of my snakeskin boots to
1) go into labor {poop myself and to have my v rip to my b!!}
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2) to be responsible for another human being!! I mean is that not crazy to anyone else?! I will be in charge of this little creature! I will have to raise “it” to be a functional member of society…I mean am I capable of that?! Hilter and Charles Manson had moms!! & what if they have adhd and are so extremely naughty I want to strangle their brains out? What about cleft palate? I mean…ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING. I just pray they are healthy and will be happy + well behaved and possibly even cute too. I just get overwhelmed thinking about having to care for another living thing though.

&

Sometimes when I’m with my friends I feel like that will be the last time we’ll ever be able to hang at the lake, have a sleepover, etc. That’s a true depressing moment I don’t mention to my friends because after all, it is what it is and it’s not their problem!!! If you’re my friend and you’re reading this will you reassure me you’ll still be my friend even though I have a mini-me?
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I don’t want to depend on my parents forever for my financial existence. They’ve helped me a lot over the years and have bailed me out of a lot of shiz. I want to be financially set on my own in the future. I don’t want to be banking on their hard earned bucks until I die – that’s their money, savings, etc to spend. They still pay my phone, insurance and car insurance cause they are awesome. Love you lads!
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I obviously hate my body. That’s nothing new to you though. It was terrifying letting you guys know that I was self-conscience when I first published the first post about my weight. I can feel people from my past (who’ve known skinny-me) judge me.... but I can’t let that bother me. I honestly know in my heart that I will get back to my HS weight – because I want it that bad! I’m just on a minor bump in the road with this baby inside me though and can’t go ballz to the wallz with workouts or weight loss/gain per my doctor.
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I want to use all babies breath for floral in our wedding. I can see the snarls now. Keep them to yourself please because something like this is pretty. {and cheap!}

photo credit

 



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That’s mostly everything I’ve been afraid to tell you. My life isn’t as cool as everyone thinks it is (if you do..) lol! I am just an ordinary person trying to make it in this world!

What are you afraid to tell me? I wanna know!! C’mon! I just shared a whole bunch with you. :)

Crunch Time Wedding Planning

I know, I know. I've wrote posts on wedding planning before months and months ago before I was really, really preparing for our big day! We are in crunch mode now with baby on the way. We want mostly everything prepared and ready to go by the time he/she gets here so it's a little less stressful and a lot less work!

My mom-in-law and I have been getting together almost every Saturday night to work on the crafty stuff and I'm trying to get everything in order! My mind was spinning a bit so I bought these 3 books off of Amazon (they came in a set for $40) to keep me in order : )

I wish I could tell you everything we're working on! It's so hard not to want to bust at the seams I'm so excited about it all!

Thank you Dollar Tree for saving me money on MOSS! Haha! Are you thinkin' what the bloody hell?? : )

How I asked my bridesmaids.

(Those "flowers" are actually weeds Matt and I picked out of the ditches this summer on our bike rides. Who says a weed can't be pretty? Memories were made!)

I was surfin’ the net one day just doing my rounds trying to catch up on my most favorite wedding blogs. Green Wedding Shoes – check. Ruffled – check. Style Me Pretty – check. Wedding Chicks - ch…”OH. MY. GOSH!!” I thought to myself as I came across a post about Bethany’s DIY wedding bridesmaid boxes (see how she asked her bridesmaids here). I immediately was in awe of the whimsical feel and uniqueness of the bridesmaid boxes the Rinse. Repeat. founder had so fabulously dreamt up!

I followed the link to view her blog and was immediately blog-struck (tee-hee). This girl has a fairytale romance, stunning beauty, a kind heart and creative talent! I e-mailed her to introduce myself like any normal person would do (ha!) and decided I had to attempt boxes similar to hers.

I agreed with Bethany that sending a text saying, "Will U B My B-maid????" wasn’t exactly the personal touch I wanted to approach with asking my girls! I knew who I wanted to ask and that I wanted to make the boxes but tackling this task was going to be a bit difficult.

See, even though I grew up sanding wood in my parents’ wood shop and spent every Saturday of my childhood at a craft show with my mother selling grandma wreath’s and what-not for Kim’s Kountry Krafts. I’m not exactly what you would call artistically inclined. With the KKK we stuck with the 3 main craft décor colors of the 90s: hunter green, navy and maroon. So you can see where anything out of my comfort zone would frighten me right? ; )

Anyways, I decided to give it my best anyways and off to town I went. I had six boxes to do and according to Bethany’s instructions each box took about 2 hours each. From that, I decided to go with a smaller box to save myself some strife. The boxes I chose were only $1.99 at Hobby Lobby – steal!

I then had to decide color, design and font for the box. Most of my girls aren’t “pinks” like I am. I chose a cream color so they could use it as a keepsake and used my blush pink on the inside to give it the Brandi touch. I love anything with a mason jar (totally am drinking from one now). They are so versatile and can do just about anything superpower related…just kidding but pretty damn close! I decided I would do a mason jar background and use letters to arrange over it to spell their names

Now for the inside goodies!

I liked how Bethany included a gift card in her box to let the girls find a dress that fit their style and their bodies. My Mother and I had already found the dresses I wanted for the girls (she was even so graciously kind to purchase the girls’ shoes and dresses for them J) though so I knew gift cards weren't an option.

I thought and thought – wondered and pondered - trying to think of woodsy-ish things that wouldn’t let me stoop as low as stuffing a slaughtered squirrel or coon-tailed hats in their boxes. I finally decided on Twilight Woods body washes from Bath and Body Works because not only does it incorporate a woodsy name and label it is also my – and a couple of my girls’ – favorite scent! I purchased these during a big sale at Bath and Body for about $1.25 each.

Well, I couldn’t just have a box with just body wash included – they would have thought it was a polite gesture asking them to shower right? I liked that Bethany’s boxes contained paint swatches and pictures and I decided to get creative and put together an inspiration board of our woodland fairytale wedding ideas to include too. I wanted my girls to feel they were somewhat in the loop as to what I had in mind. *This is the paper wrapped in the blush pink lace.*

I love love loved how Bethany typed her whole shpeel and so I used that as a template. I thought the “most likely to” was just the darndest thing and had fun deciding what my girls would be most-likely to be on our big day.  I agreed with Bethany about bridal showers and bachelorette parties and just had to let them know that them standing beside me when I marry the man I love would mean more to me than any cake pan and/or penis tiara ever could.

 

  (See below what I had to say to my girls closer below)

big day:

who: Matthew & Brandi

what: A wedding. A union. A celebration.

when: September 22, 2012 - sunset.

where: Our beautiful home in good ol’ GC.

why: Our souls have found their mates and we’re in love duh!

soul sisters:

I always thought the phrase personal attendant sounded so not personable. To me, it was a bossy phrase. Matt is only having 2 groomsmen so I was torn on how to include my best friends! This is where I came up with ‘soul sisters’. You will be treated equally as a bridesmaid in every detail of the wedding. I will most likely have you walk 2x2 down the aisle to start us off during the ceremony. You’ll have a matching dress, bouquet, etc. I couldn’t stand the thought of you not in our wedding party. You mean too much.

So are you wondering who your fellow ‘soul sisters’ are? (granted they all say YES)

           

             Drum roll please. . .

Magz: I’m so blessed you took me under your wing in 1^st grade. Who knew we’d still be the best of friends? Most likely to: grab an apron if the caterers are a no-show.

©        I love her ability to never stop giving and to always do it with a smile.

Bethany: The most understanding individual in the entire world. Always up for an adventure and would drive 3 hours just to make the tears stop and the smiles arrive. Most likely to: gush over my doll-face and drink their body weight in morgan diets.

©        I love her feisty, golden spirit and her laugh.

Jennifer: She. Knows. All. Embarrassing. Moments. A person I look up to for all she’s been through. A person who can make me laugh from the time I wake up until the time I fall asleep. Most likely to: use her handkerchief like it’s going outta style and keep me looking glam all day long.

©        I love her for her wild dreamer spirit and for her beauty.

Bre: If I was to have a twin, she’d be it. We’ve been through crazy things the past 5 years but it’s made “us”! Most likely to: dance her face off and squeal with me in excitement all through the day.

©        I love her for her selflessness and our ability to understand each other like its nobodies bus-nass!

bridesmaids:

I couldn’t have asked for fate to send me a more loving blended family. A long time ago (as toddlers) we were all strangers. How amazeballs that destiny brought strangers into our life and turned them into family? I am so happy I am able to call you my sisters and most importantly, my friends. I love you so much!

Britt: The big sis who takes care of all her little siblings. The most loyal person on the planet! Most likely to: call me out on my bridezillaness but, ironically, most likely to give the sweetest speech.

©       I love her for our late night chats and her capability to generously always think of others before herself.

Cass: The most introverted of us all. My fellow lover of all sorts of crazy things! (Barbies, Disney, etc..) Most likely to: pout about not wearing fairy wings.

©       I love her for her hippie spirit and her gift of laughing at all my horrid jokes.

your duty:

Traditionally, the role of the brides’ wedding party would be lots of work throwing bachelorette parties/showers. That’s not what I want. Your presence is all that I need and want. truly.

Your only jobs as my bridesmaids/soul sisters:

©       hold some gorgeous flowers.

©       wipe away my happy tears.

©       dance the night away.

©       realize how much I appreciate you just being there and most of all: how much I love each one of you sooo much.

also:

I included pictures and paint swatches so you can get an idea as to what we’re up to for décor for our “Woodland Fairytale” – “Neature” wedding.

A lot has changed since I first made these boxes. I declared Soul Sisters an official wedding party person so I could still have my girls even if they didn’t have a boy to walk with but now that we’ve included my male siblings they may just be bridesmaids – we’ll see! And our date has completely changed. We are now getting married September 14, 2013! We still are having a “woodland fairytale” themed wedding. Side note: I don’t think the theme seriously could be any more fitting. My life seems to be consumed solely by woodland creatures and Matt these days.

I hope you enjoyed checking out this post! They definitely didn’t turn out as whimsical and lovely as Miss Bethany’s but my girls really appreciated the thought and were tickled I went out of my way to ask them this way. And if I can do it…..anyone can do it!



Miranda, Wedding Party, Wedding Date, etc.

This past weekend I went to the Miranda Lambert concert. It was my fourth concert of hers and damn does she ‘wow’ me every time. Does it get better than drinkin’, singin’ and dancin’ “redneck chick” style?  Trust me, it doesn’t – her concerts are a blast. And what I have learned at her last 3 concerts standing front row? That it’s not fun to drink 100+ ounces of Captain Morgan and/or Coors Light and have to pee so bad you can’t enjoy yourself. To push, shove and trudge through all the other drunk fans to and from the bathroom. So I did what most any logical person would do and wore a grown up diaper. A “dipey” if you will.

Oh and I almost forgot Justin Moore (who the hell…?) opened for Miranda and boy was he good too! He sings “small town usa” and “if Heaven wasn’t so far away” – He had me bawling like a little bitch when he sang that song. The part I love most is it’s a song about real feelings and real emotions based on true deaths that have affected his life and his friends’ lives. I felt close to Thomas again during that moment.

I have this picture of him after he sang this song. It looks like he’s crying too. I love this snapshot because you can tell he’s just so grateful for all of us and his opportunity to stand there and sing for a living. He’s soaking it all in. It was really touching in a redneck, cheesy; we’re all drunk kind of way. I have way more respect for that song now and I cry every time I’ve heard it since. (it won't rotate on here so I can't share! sad face)

The following night was my best friend, Bre’s, moving-to-TX 60s, 70s, 80s themed party bus. Wanna know something funny? 2 of my best friends are my ex boyfriends sisters – she being one of the 2 sisters. Guess who we ran into at the first bar? My ex. Keep in mind I wore a pink carebear costume for the 80s theme and I was covered head to toe in mud from rolling around on the bus floor from being so drunk. Carebear shit show basically. So I guess my ex gets the last laugh. He always did! Picture if you saw your ex randomly and they were 70 lbs heavier than the last time you saw them and they were wearing a pink sweat suit with ears and the carebear tummy with mud all over and morgan diet stains. Yup, even I think that’s pretty pathetic! Haha, oh well, it’s kind of funny even to me.

That night was filled with all sorts of other embarrassing drunken moments I prefer not to share. I’d like to forget I danced like an idiot and move on! J Especially ditching Bre at the end of the night..

As for our wedding, we finally have chosen a complete wedding party and there’s no going back! I am 100% satisfied and so happy with our group!

Fair Maidens: a group and/or clan of “chicks” close to the bride. Walking with a “hott buff dude” down the aisle.

Maid of Dishonor: Jennifhair Cornelius – bff forever of the bride (we always say BFF forever idk why..)

Bridesmaid: Brittany Merchen – sisthair of the bride.

Bridesmaid: Cassie Merchen – sisthair of the bride.

Soul Sisters: a new made up group by Brandi the bride. fine ass ladies who are sistas from another mista. Walking solo down the aisle.

SS: Bre Nuhsbaumhair – twinny twins – we share basically same thoughts, feelings, etc.

SS: Bethany Nuhsbaumhair – a funny lady who I can be myself silly or serious with! A true gem! Hehe

SS: Maggie Stern – lifetime friend who have hit too many major life milestones together. Couldn’t have made it w/o ya!

Groomsmen: buff hotties who walk some smokin’ sexy “chicks” down the aisle.

Best man: Nate Lenzen – mattchew’s only bro-ha.

Groomsman: Levi Seefeldt – brother of the bride (a total ladies man)

Groomsman: Joel Carpenter – brother of the bride (total sweetie stud – also a ladies man)

As for the date, we’ve changed it again (hold your groan and cut the crap cause I don’t wanna hear it.) Matt and I had a discussion (more of a meltdown for me) while he was boiling a coon head (right?!) out in the garage last night. Lately I’ve been freaking out a lot about school, work and the wedding AND my self esteem. It’s a lot to handle at one time and I was at a crossroad of sanity vs. losing it. So I asked him if he’d be upset if we pushed the date back and waited until 2013 (fingers crossed world hasn’t ended).

He was so sweet and trying not to chuckle because for some odd reason he thinks it’s the cutest thing when I cry. He says I go “tear tear sniffle sniffle” when I cry and it’s the cutest. Barf. Anyways, I was explaining to him through my curtain of tears that I wanted to pay off my car, get both the garages sided and the yard nice (go away crab grass!), get through school, lose weight, and focus on my self-esteem, finish college etc. before I had the stress of planning a wedding. I feel like my family is so busy with my dad trying to get harvest done plus working 60+ hours at his other job on top of the stress of my grandpa’s health going downhill fast. It all just seems like too much!

I’m a mosey kind of gal. I hate rush rush rush and I get anxious when things are like that. 11 months is right around the corner in my book. I honestly am in no rush to “start my life” with Matthew. I started my life with him when we met (or re-met I guess you could say). We live together, we share finances, we fight, we laugh, we bicker, we worry… we are a team now a $50 piece of paper isn’t going to change that. (Why do I even feel the need to explain myself…? Will anyone get it anyways?)

Matt is right, it’s our wedding and we can do what we want. Whether we want to wait another 2 years or 18 it doesn’t matter because it’s up to us.  He is so good to talk to when I’m feeling nervous and anxious and sad. He’s just so sweet! When I said I wanted the wedding to be perfect he replied that as long as he was marrying me it would be perfect................. and then my heart melted. The end.

(shout out to The Photography Shoppe /Anne the owner for letting me change the date. She's awesome!!)

New date: 09/14/13. boom.

Wedding Stress, etc.

Sadly I have to admit, these hilarious e-cards are seriously exactly how I feel. I am so stressed out I feel at any moment I could start hyperventilating, rip out all my hair and start flailing on the floor like a fish gasping for air. Not only wedding stress but future job stress, major/school stress, weight stress, being a grown-up stress, beauty stress, money stress, etc...

Those of you who have planned/are planning a wedding know exactly the stress I’m talking about. Basically, you want the day to be perfect and want others to think it’s perfect too. Well, contrary to popular belief, perfection doesn’t exist and trying to achieve it makes a person insanely nuts (bird lady nuts – think crazy cat lady only with birds). I know that it’s our day and we have to do things the way we want and not worry about what others think/say but it’s easier said than done!!!

As much as I would love to say everyone is going to love our wedding – they won’t. They’ll think the deer antler arch and men’s camo vests are tacky and the fur cape is too much. They’ll think my mother’s wedding dress is outdated and the day was too cold. They’ll think our nacho/baked potato bar was “cheap” and didn’t go with our theme. They’ll think matt’s shyness and refusal to speak at the reception means he doesn’t care or isn’t appreciative. They’ll think my “soul sisters” idea was confusing and weird and everything was “too vintage”.  They’ll think it’s weird we don’t want speeches from our bridal party and that we didn’t have biblical readings at the ceremony.

See how I’m my own worst critic here?? It gets worse. I stress about the tiniest detail…from what perfume I should wear to my jewelry. If you would talk to me about it you would think it was life or death. It’s becoming crazy pathetic the things I’m concerned about. HELP ME!!!!

What am I going to do about school? Seriously.. I’ve been in college for almost 4.5 years without even so much as an associate’s degree. I changed my major 5 times and still am unsure of what I’d be good at and be HAPPY doing everyday of my life. I honestly am so lost as to what to do. Lets hug it out. (hugs) wow, I feel better…J

And how do I know what my future job options are without a major in mind? Am I gonna be stuck at this $10/hr. job feeling as though I’m not contributing to society at all? I feel like every person leaves their mark on the world and I am not even close.  I don’t know what I’d like or what I’d be good at so until I figure that out I’m kind of stuck with business (although, I really can do a lot with this major. That’s the level headed Brandi coming through..)

I feel as though everyone I know thinks I’m a giant loser for living a mile from my parents in Garden City, SD. I have gained a ton of weight and am marrying a guy I couldn’t stand in high school. I do believe in love and have a love that will lasts and that makes me “uncool” because a majority of kids my age are out partying and doing whomever whenever. And I couldn’t possibly know what true love is at such a young age and am bound for divorce because no marriage lasts nowadays.

I’m trying my best to stay positive (you guys are like yeah right!) and be grateful for all that I’ve been given. It’s a rough road some days and I often get discouraged by the tiniest thing. I’m trying to remember it will all work out how it’s supposed to and that our wedding day is OUR day and most people won’t even remember all the trouble I went through to make sure every last detail was in tact.

I have noticed that exercising is a great way to relieve some of my daily stressors. I’ve been caught crying on the treadmill because it felt so good to be finally doing something about my self image and I was watching the sunrise thinking about Thomas…

Crazy honesty but I just needed to get all the stress-age off my chest.

Do you guys have any stress relievers that you found have worked for you (besides drinking heavily)….

My Wedding Dress

Traditions are like fingerprints. Though, instead of being solely for individuals they’re unique per family. Every family has their own customs and quirky little things that make “them.” Traditions sometimes make your whole entire year and make the best memories for sure!

At my mom’s we spent every week night eating supper together, which is actually quite unusual for the modern family I think. We’d spend time at the table chowing down on mom’s home cooked food and discussing how hard basketball practice was that night and when the next 4H meeting was. Mom and dad would go on about how great my little brother’s grades were (puke J) and the current happenings at their jobs.  Sundays (every single Sunday) were always picnic nights. Football, nachos, pizza and wings! Nachos are a delicacy in our 4-person Seefeldt family.

Black Friday is the biggest holiday for my mom and I. Nothing like hitting the road at 2 am and buying out Watertown and Sioux Falls all before the sun comes up! My grammy used to come along too before she passed (bless her heart!). My step-dad, after a few years, got fed up because for like 3 years in a row he would have to come to Watertown with a bigger vehicle because we’d be unable to move or breathe due to the copious amount of “crap” we had bought. We needed to get to Sioux Falls stat and we couldn’t do it in those ‘stuffed’ conditions!! Next year we may need to borrow/rent an 18 wheeler.

At my real dad’s house it was hard for us to be consistent with having 4 kids and my sisters needing to go to their dad’s for the holidays and then me coming and it was just a mad house trying to coordinate events. However, I spent every summer at my dad’s (which I miss doing) and every Fourth of July we’d pack up our van full of blankets, pillows and bug spray and head here or there to watch fireworks as a family. We also drove around town near Christmas time to see all the lights! Those were seriously some of the best times of my life. Having 2 sisters practically the same age and a silly daddio is the best!!

When we got older it was harder to keep us entertained (although, I’d still love to do those things!) so we had to find new ways to keep tradition in our family going. My sisters and I are all within 3 years of each other so we were all out of high school and broke as a joke at the same time. Our tradition every year was to draw names for siblings and pray Joel drew our name so my step-mom (their real ma) would buy our gift and it would be fancy! J

Well, after that we decided since all us adolescent girls could scrounge up around the holiday season was the lint between our toes we would instead spend the evening together baking, gaming and writing. Let me tell you, those have been some of the most memorable Christmases! We have this game that asks questions like, “If you were all captured by wild savages and were forced to have one person dance to save your heads from being boiled whose dance moves do you trust to save your life?” (why my family chose me I have zero clue) or “who’s most likely to get ‘lucky’ tonight?” – We were in tears at who picked who. Keep in mind this game is involving my 10 year old brother, parents, my sister’s, my fiancé and my sister’s new boyfriend….Let alone with 3 born and bred Carpenter’s (dad, joel, me) in the house it’s always loud and crazy. My abs hurt the next morning from laughing that night. Wow, I am cheesing out so bad right now.

And the food. Ohhhh the food! My dad makes his mouth-watering king crab legs and shrimp (I have a butter stained t-shirt for proof they’re messy and equally delish). We bake each other’s favorite foods and so there are usually stuffed mushrooms, cheesecake, veggie pizza and all this other scrumptious stuff! We also write each other poems and read them in front of everyone. I always like to throw in my poem how my dad wore head to toe red to church the following Sunday after my step-mom told him her favorite color was red (this was when they first started seeing each other). For those that know me, am I not my father’s daughter?! Hahaha! Gosh.

So I guess where I’m headed with this tradition thing:

A couple weeks ago my mom and I were chatting on our way to visit my Great Grandma Rose and my Grandpa Rod. Out of nowhere she says, “You’re the only bride I know who isn’t talking their mom’s ear off about their wedding dress.” I paused for awhile and didn’t really respond besides a shrug. Ever since then though, I’ve been looking and thinking and thinking and more thinking. I’ve had probably 6 people in the last week ask when I was going to start dress shopping.

I’m sentimental in about 99% of all aspects of my life. I cherish the little things and love looking at old photos of when I was little or when my parent’s were young. I have been reminiscing a lot about the weddings I’ve been too and asking my grandparent’s about theirs, etc. And you know me, I like different and I like meaningful. I’ve thought long and hard about it and so here I am, letting my Sparkler’s, friends and family know I am wearing my Mother’s wedding dress on my wedding day.

To answer a few questions, it’s the dress from my mom’s 2^nd marriage. If it was the one from her first marriage wouldn’t that be a bad omen or something? Hehe. Plus, the one she married my real dad in was a pink 80’s huge-bow-tie-on-your-bum kind of dress. Yikes!  And although, that dress was scary I am very appreciative my parents married and had me (and I bet you are too!).

I am also grateful that my parents are divorced and remarried to their soul’s mates. I love my wicked stepmother (yes, I call her that to her face-jokingly of course) and Odd Seefeldt (sometimes the T gets cut off on his mail and my bro and I find it funny) to death!! I couldn’t have asked for fate to send me more loving and accepting parents who would raise me as their own.

I obviously, was at both my parents’ 2^nd weddings. I was the flower girl (raise the roof. ow ow!) and I remember how special that day was for both sets of parents. I could feel the love between them and I was smitten. I had a fairytale sixth sense even way back then. I remember thinking my mother was the most beautiful princess lady in the history of the universe. I wanted to look like her when I grew up. (Matt thinks we’re twins – I don’t see it)

It seems the tradition of wearing your mother’s dress has kind of flopped. It’s very unheard of, or to me it is anyways but I don’t get out much either. I think it’s a special thing if your mother’s dress has been well kept and fits. My mom’s is in near perfect condition and we (or will be once I get back to my “normal” size) are the same size and height also!

For those of you wondering, the dress is from the early 90s. Yes, it has puffy sleeves at the top of the shoulders. So before YOU start hyperventilating I will let you know… no, I am not keeping the sleeves. Calm down. After all, it’s not your wedding dress right? And no, I haven’t lost my bloody mind. The dress is stunning. I love the full satin skirt of the dress and the long cathedral lace-y beaded train. I am in love with lace sleeves and I think an off the shoulder long lace-sleeve is just what this dress needs to update and “brandi” brand the dress. J

My mom is pretty excited and so am I! I am excited to wear the dress she wore that day in October when I was in awe of what a beauty she was. I’m excited to wear a dress that started a tight-knit blended family and begin my fairytale with Matthew like my mother did with my step-dad. (It’s so weird referring to my step-parents as step-mom and step-dad. In real life it’s mom, mom, dad, dad and friends are left to figure out who the hell I’m chatting about! hehe). I’m excited to start a tradition perhaps my future curtain climbers/bed wetters will continue. But most of all, I’m excited to marry Matthew and start/continue our family traditions with him...



(Me and Ma shortly before it wasn't just "the girls" anymore. I don't have an explanation for the hair. The bigger the hair the closer you are to Heaven??)