Miranda, Wedding Party, Wedding Date, etc.

This past weekend I went to the Miranda Lambert concert. It was my fourth concert of hers and damn does she ‘wow’ me every time. Does it get better than drinkin’, singin’ and dancin’ “redneck chick” style?  Trust me, it doesn’t – her concerts are a blast. And what I have learned at her last 3 concerts standing front row? That it’s not fun to drink 100+ ounces of Captain Morgan and/or Coors Light and have to pee so bad you can’t enjoy yourself. To push, shove and trudge through all the other drunk fans to and from the bathroom. So I did what most any logical person would do and wore a grown up diaper. A “dipey” if you will.

Oh and I almost forgot Justin Moore (who the hell…?) opened for Miranda and boy was he good too! He sings “small town usa” and “if Heaven wasn’t so far away” – He had me bawling like a little bitch when he sang that song. The part I love most is it’s a song about real feelings and real emotions based on true deaths that have affected his life and his friends’ lives. I felt close to Thomas again during that moment.

I have this picture of him after he sang this song. It looks like he’s crying too. I love this snapshot because you can tell he’s just so grateful for all of us and his opportunity to stand there and sing for a living. He’s soaking it all in. It was really touching in a redneck, cheesy; we’re all drunk kind of way. I have way more respect for that song now and I cry every time I’ve heard it since. (it won't rotate on here so I can't share! sad face)

The following night was my best friend, Bre’s, moving-to-TX 60s, 70s, 80s themed party bus. Wanna know something funny? 2 of my best friends are my ex boyfriends sisters – she being one of the 2 sisters. Guess who we ran into at the first bar? My ex. Keep in mind I wore a pink carebear costume for the 80s theme and I was covered head to toe in mud from rolling around on the bus floor from being so drunk. Carebear shit show basically. So I guess my ex gets the last laugh. He always did! Picture if you saw your ex randomly and they were 70 lbs heavier than the last time you saw them and they were wearing a pink sweat suit with ears and the carebear tummy with mud all over and morgan diet stains. Yup, even I think that’s pretty pathetic! Haha, oh well, it’s kind of funny even to me.

That night was filled with all sorts of other embarrassing drunken moments I prefer not to share. I’d like to forget I danced like an idiot and move on! J Especially ditching Bre at the end of the night..

As for our wedding, we finally have chosen a complete wedding party and there’s no going back! I am 100% satisfied and so happy with our group!

Fair Maidens: a group and/or clan of “chicks” close to the bride. Walking with a “hott buff dude” down the aisle.

Maid of Dishonor: Jennifhair Cornelius – bff forever of the bride (we always say BFF forever idk why..)

Bridesmaid: Brittany Merchen – sisthair of the bride.

Bridesmaid: Cassie Merchen – sisthair of the bride.

Soul Sisters: a new made up group by Brandi the bride. fine ass ladies who are sistas from another mista. Walking solo down the aisle.

SS: Bre Nuhsbaumhair – twinny twins – we share basically same thoughts, feelings, etc.

SS: Bethany Nuhsbaumhair – a funny lady who I can be myself silly or serious with! A true gem! Hehe

SS: Maggie Stern – lifetime friend who have hit too many major life milestones together. Couldn’t have made it w/o ya!

Groomsmen: buff hotties who walk some smokin’ sexy “chicks” down the aisle.

Best man: Nate Lenzen – mattchew’s only bro-ha.

Groomsman: Levi Seefeldt – brother of the bride (a total ladies man)

Groomsman: Joel Carpenter – brother of the bride (total sweetie stud – also a ladies man)

As for the date, we’ve changed it again (hold your groan and cut the crap cause I don’t wanna hear it.) Matt and I had a discussion (more of a meltdown for me) while he was boiling a coon head (right?!) out in the garage last night. Lately I’ve been freaking out a lot about school, work and the wedding AND my self esteem. It’s a lot to handle at one time and I was at a crossroad of sanity vs. losing it. So I asked him if he’d be upset if we pushed the date back and waited until 2013 (fingers crossed world hasn’t ended).

He was so sweet and trying not to chuckle because for some odd reason he thinks it’s the cutest thing when I cry. He says I go “tear tear sniffle sniffle” when I cry and it’s the cutest. Barf. Anyways, I was explaining to him through my curtain of tears that I wanted to pay off my car, get both the garages sided and the yard nice (go away crab grass!), get through school, lose weight, and focus on my self-esteem, finish college etc. before I had the stress of planning a wedding. I feel like my family is so busy with my dad trying to get harvest done plus working 60+ hours at his other job on top of the stress of my grandpa’s health going downhill fast. It all just seems like too much!

I’m a mosey kind of gal. I hate rush rush rush and I get anxious when things are like that. 11 months is right around the corner in my book. I honestly am in no rush to “start my life” with Matthew. I started my life with him when we met (or re-met I guess you could say). We live together, we share finances, we fight, we laugh, we bicker, we worry… we are a team now a $50 piece of paper isn’t going to change that. (Why do I even feel the need to explain myself…? Will anyone get it anyways?)

Matt is right, it’s our wedding and we can do what we want. Whether we want to wait another 2 years or 18 it doesn’t matter because it’s up to us.  He is so good to talk to when I’m feeling nervous and anxious and sad. He’s just so sweet! When I said I wanted the wedding to be perfect he replied that as long as he was marrying me it would be perfect................. and then my heart melted. The end.

(shout out to The Photography Shoppe /Anne the owner for letting me change the date. She's awesome!!)

New date: 09/14/13. boom.

Wedding Stress, etc.

Sadly I have to admit, these hilarious e-cards are seriously exactly how I feel. I am so stressed out I feel at any moment I could start hyperventilating, rip out all my hair and start flailing on the floor like a fish gasping for air. Not only wedding stress but future job stress, major/school stress, weight stress, being a grown-up stress, beauty stress, money stress, etc...

Those of you who have planned/are planning a wedding know exactly the stress I’m talking about. Basically, you want the day to be perfect and want others to think it’s perfect too. Well, contrary to popular belief, perfection doesn’t exist and trying to achieve it makes a person insanely nuts (bird lady nuts – think crazy cat lady only with birds). I know that it’s our day and we have to do things the way we want and not worry about what others think/say but it’s easier said than done!!!

As much as I would love to say everyone is going to love our wedding – they won’t. They’ll think the deer antler arch and men’s camo vests are tacky and the fur cape is too much. They’ll think my mother’s wedding dress is outdated and the day was too cold. They’ll think our nacho/baked potato bar was “cheap” and didn’t go with our theme. They’ll think matt’s shyness and refusal to speak at the reception means he doesn’t care or isn’t appreciative. They’ll think my “soul sisters” idea was confusing and weird and everything was “too vintage”.  They’ll think it’s weird we don’t want speeches from our bridal party and that we didn’t have biblical readings at the ceremony.

See how I’m my own worst critic here?? It gets worse. I stress about the tiniest detail…from what perfume I should wear to my jewelry. If you would talk to me about it you would think it was life or death. It’s becoming crazy pathetic the things I’m concerned about. HELP ME!!!!

What am I going to do about school? Seriously.. I’ve been in college for almost 4.5 years without even so much as an associate’s degree. I changed my major 5 times and still am unsure of what I’d be good at and be HAPPY doing everyday of my life. I honestly am so lost as to what to do. Lets hug it out. (hugs) wow, I feel better…J

And how do I know what my future job options are without a major in mind? Am I gonna be stuck at this $10/hr. job feeling as though I’m not contributing to society at all? I feel like every person leaves their mark on the world and I am not even close.  I don’t know what I’d like or what I’d be good at so until I figure that out I’m kind of stuck with business (although, I really can do a lot with this major. That’s the level headed Brandi coming through..)

I feel as though everyone I know thinks I’m a giant loser for living a mile from my parents in Garden City, SD. I have gained a ton of weight and am marrying a guy I couldn’t stand in high school. I do believe in love and have a love that will lasts and that makes me “uncool” because a majority of kids my age are out partying and doing whomever whenever. And I couldn’t possibly know what true love is at such a young age and am bound for divorce because no marriage lasts nowadays.

I’m trying my best to stay positive (you guys are like yeah right!) and be grateful for all that I’ve been given. It’s a rough road some days and I often get discouraged by the tiniest thing. I’m trying to remember it will all work out how it’s supposed to and that our wedding day is OUR day and most people won’t even remember all the trouble I went through to make sure every last detail was in tact.

I have noticed that exercising is a great way to relieve some of my daily stressors. I’ve been caught crying on the treadmill because it felt so good to be finally doing something about my self image and I was watching the sunrise thinking about Thomas…

Crazy honesty but I just needed to get all the stress-age off my chest.

Do you guys have any stress relievers that you found have worked for you (besides drinking heavily)….